I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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