Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
this boner is exhausting
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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