All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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