I wish i was in the wii world.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
