the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
