And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
