theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
