i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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