Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize