I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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