My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
