but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
