That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
