Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's rum buckets o'clock
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I am naked and annoyed.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
