if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
