Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You ruined the universe
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
