Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
