it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Randomize
