I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
apparently the secret to your success is patron
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
