Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
