She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
