well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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