Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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