she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
