She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
