Are we in a gay sports bar?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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