i just wanna soil my oats bro
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
