I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
