You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just high enough for therapy.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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