apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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