Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just want nice things and good sex
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
