dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We got so high we made milksteak
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
