he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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