Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
