i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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