New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
my sisters under your porch take her home
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
