Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I love you.
Bad choice
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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