So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
