Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
