if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
