Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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