Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
