He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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