how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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