Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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