I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize