how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
