I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
