Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
