return my video game
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
