Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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