I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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