I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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