I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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