Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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