I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
