My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
