Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize