Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
