i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
