she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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