forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
