I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
