U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
